Success by Larry Ware
The Silent Disease by Charonda Parrott
A Private Victory by Tameka Bradford
Making a Mark by Jo Oates
Nigger by Rico Jeffries
Spare the Rod by Tonja Jones
Reducing Crime by Paneshia Scott
Mi Familia by Sandra Sukram
My Parents Made Me Do It! by Damarcus Gibson
Public Image, Private Self by Beverly Wynn
Teen Runaways by Temidayo Oyewole
The Gift of Christmas by Felicia Wright
The Will to Live by Corey D. Skinner
Teaching Dance by Keyana Copeland
A Winning Attitude
by Vanessa Luke
When I grow up I want to be just like Leann..... Years from I want to look back and say that I have accomplished what I wanted to. There are many thing that I believe in. Then there are things that I don't believe in. Success is very important to me. I want to be very successful. This not just my goal, but my belief.
I take the term success differently than most people. Success to me is being satisfied with ones own self. If a feels that he/she is has accomplished what they intended, then it was a success. As for Itself, success to me is more than just a big salary, car, and house. To me success is more than self. It is about your community, family, and environment. How can I be successful if I don't have anyone to share it with? Is it possible to be successful if you don't have a community to call your own? Is it possible to call yourself successful if you let your environment become depleted? My self definition of success is as follows: "For success I must be build a stable foundation from which my family can stand. I will protect my family by all means from any dangers and disasters."
For as far back as I can remember, my younger brother has always had personal problems. He used to act like he was some kind of psychopath. He used to do things that made me and my younger sister call him names like retarded, dummy and stupid. My mother and step-father never knew what to say or to do about him. My mother would always say, "Girl, you know something is wrong with my baby" whenever her friends or someone would ask.
At home, he would just up and break out into violent rages. He would get so upset that when people bothered him, he would pick up anything in his way and throw it at them, no matter who you were! He would also do things like sit around on the floor and just knock his head against the walls. I don't care if the walls in your house were made of bricks, he would still do it. Sometimes he did this when he was upset or sometimes it seemed as if he did it to calm himself down. If we were sometimes trying to have a private conversation and asked him to leave the room, he would burst out into tears and say that nobody loved him and that everybody always did him wrong. At night while he was asleep, he would get up on his hands and knees like a newborn baby and rock back and forth all night long. When he got up the next morning for school, it was as if he had barely gotten a wink of sleep. This, too is something that is still a part of his daily routine.
His teachers were always calling my mother to come and get him from school. He was always picking fights with the other kids, and would never pay attention in class for longer than five to ten minutes. He would always blurt out loud comments. Sometimes it was when the teacher asked the class a question or sometimes he would just do it when the class got too quiet. His teachers all made the same comments about him: he's a smart child, but we can never seem to keep his attention for long or if the class is working on a particular activity for too long, he will start doing his own little things. They would also say that they had to keep a close eye on him or else he would rip up the place. When the teacher had to leave the class, so did he. When he walked down the halls of his school, people would always say, "There goes that crazy little red boy."
My entire family treated, or shall I say treats my little brother like he has some kind of germs that can be spread just be looking at him or just by him being around. Every time we would have like a family gathering of some kind and my little brother came, they would always tell him to get out of the room and just make up things to fuss at him for. They would even frown when they saw him, things that they never did to the other kids. They would sometimes even go as far as telling my mother, "Oh, I know you ain't gone bring his little bad butt over here this time, are you?" My mother would always laugh and take him along anyway, thinking that they were joking, but they weren't.
My mother and step-father thought that he was just a bad kid so they tried punishing him by whipping him and keeping him in the house. None of this ever seemed to work for long. As my brother grew older, matters only got worse. People besides me and my younger sister would call him stupid or they'd just say, 'Damn, that little boy is crazy ain't he."
Finally, when he reached the sixth grade his teacher suggested that he see the school psychiatrist. The school psychiatrist recommended that he visit a mental health clinic and so he did. On his first visit, they took in a room without my mother and begin to ask him a large variety of questions. On the second visit they had a diagnosis. The doctors said that my brother had something called Attention Deficit Disorder, also known as ADD. When they told us this, we looked at each other with confused looks on our faces. "What in the world is that?" said my mom in an angry yet concerned tone of voice. The doctors briefly explained to my mom that this was a condition that affects a child's ability to concentrate, to learn and to maintain a normal level of activity. We also found out that this affects between three and ten percent of children in America and yet lots of people that have kids are dumbfounded about it. There is no single cause known for ADD, but some studies do show that some kids that have ADD have parents that also had it. The learning disabilities that ADD causes can sometimes cause a child to have emotional problems from falling behind in school or from receiving constant reprimands from adults and ridicule from other children.
My brother was prescribed a medication called Ritalin, and also had to have psychotherapy twice monthly. The medicine they prescribed him barely seemed to work so they increased his dosage from twice daily to three times daily. It seemed to me that all that did was knock him out.
It's been a whole year now since my brother's diagnosis and all is pretty much doing well. He has gotten a little bit older and is acting a little bit better. He doesn't have to take his medication as much as he used to, and no longer goes for psychotherapy.
In closing, I would just like to say to anyone that reads or hears this, if my little brother reminds you of a child you know, please don't tell that child that he or she is crazy or stupid. Don't treat the child like an outcast like my family did my brother. This will only make matters worse. Maybe the child you know needs to be tested for ADD and you or the child's parent didn't know because they had no idea what it was. ADD is the silent disease that we never hear about.
There's a good living to be made in predicting the future. If I could tell the fortunes of myself and others life would be remarkably easy, and terribly dull. As a student , everyday someone inquires of my plans for the future. My plans are still in development, as am I. But my philosophy is sound and it is what keeps me motivated when I succeed and even when I fail. Ten years from today, if I am disappointed with what I see, I will not give up on myself.
When we talk of the future, naturally we get idealistic. Visions of wealth and success invade our thoughts and a sudden urgency overpowers the natural pace intended for our lives. It can be quite disturbing to find yourself so far off the course you set for your life, that reinventing yourself seems as unrealistic as getting another chance at it. Much like the ominous class reunion, our private victories pale when compared to the more 'commercial' successes of our peers. It saddens me to think of how tortured my Mother looked upon receiving an invitation to her class reunion. You would have thought she had been diagnosed terminally ill . Instead she was confronted with goals she set twenty years ago, and the drastically different life she was living. A word that is over-used and too often heavily applied to lives full of small victories comes to mind. That word is FAILURE. It is what I once considered myself to be.
Ten years ago, I was a high school student with a low "C" average and an overwhelming fear of speaking in public. The magnitude of my self-loathing rendered me unable to participate in important speaking assignments in several classes. I allowed my fear to rob me of four years of my life: I flunked out in the twelfth grade. I disappointed myself and my family and the effect of that fear followed me through out my life. In time, I discovered my fear could be conquered. More importantly, I believed I could conquer it. As Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People stated, "...private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others"(43).
This private victory over this debilitating fear resulted in my desire to continue my education, albeit almost ten years later, and to earn a master's degree. I am a work in progress as we all are. The possibilities are boundless. No matter your age or stature in life, I believe the single most important belief to have is in yourself.
I wish my mother had been able to face her class with all of the bravado of a runaway success. As a mother of two articulate, loving and confident women, she is a success. She survived an abusive stepmother and a disappointing marriage and was still able to instill within me a sense of humor and a forgiving nature. These are accomplishments worthy of praise. Though, I suppose those triumphs were not what my mother had in mind when she laid her best plans, sadly these achievements were not enough to motivate her to accept the invitation.
If the day comes that I receive an invitation to relive my youth, I will not hesitate to accept. I have learned to simply live my life, for me first, and by doing so there is always reason to celebrate.
As I look into my children's eyes I wonder if I have lived my life to its fullest potential. I wonder if after all of my hard efforts to survive on this planet I will have actually made a difference. Will I just be a memory to a few family members or have I actually left a long term imprint on those individuals I have met during my life span......
Another Monday morning and the alarm is blasting, calling me to a new day. The Monday Blues. I hate the sound of the alarm interrupting me from the only sense of peace my body is able to capture amidst the day-in and day-out hustle and bustle. The pace of today's society moves so rapidly that there is hardly time to focus beyond the immediate moment. Sometimes I tend to forget just exactly what life is all about.
Each morning I awaken to a routine of alarm, snooze, alarm, snooze. Before I know it those few extra moments I so carefully planned for the night before, by setting the alarm ahead, are gone. Gone! Oh my goodness, reality sinks in: the morning has gone from a lazy, lingering expression into a whirlwind of panic. Thoughts of time for breakfast slip into my mind and leave just as quickly. Who has time?
Before I realize it I'm halfway to work, stuck in traffic, again. Anxiety begins to mount as I notice the time. Oh no, am I going to be late again! I can feel my hands tightening around the steering wheel. Realizing that the traffic situation is completely out of my control I just take a deep breath and rest back onto my seat and relax. That's all I can do at the moment and hope my boss accepts my excuse of another traffic jam! Thank goodness for the radio and the Tom Joyner Morning Show.
As the cars slowly roll along on this black ribbon of highway, I commute on each work day, I begin to notice the individuals along either side of me. It causes me to wonder who they are. Where are they going? What are their professions? Are they happy at their job? Is it what they wanted to be doing? Did they have a choice or was their hand already dealt for them.
Honk! Honk! Just as quickly, that moment is taken away from me. Traffic is moving and I must focus on the matter at hand, if I value my life.
Finally, destiny lands me safely at my desk. Aah, work sweet work. Hold on, I haven't even taken my coat off before the phone is ringing and one of my peers is calling my name from down the hall. Is there no decency? Can't I even get a moment to catch my breath and calm down from the escapades of the commute from hell I have just endured? I guess a cup of coffee is simply out of the question. It's probably just as well, because even if I make it to the kitchen and pour myself a hot steamy cup I usually never get to finish it, at least not while it's hot.
As usual another lunch has slipped through my fingers. No wonder I can remain slim; there's never anytime to eat. I know that I will be able to focus on my eating habits on Saturday and Sunday for a nutritional meal, but for now it's a quick trip to the local store to load up on some quick energy. Junk food!
Do I dare take a few minutes and stroll around the building just long enough to enjoy the fresh air? Yes, yes, I must if even for just a brief moment. Long enough to clear my mind and rejuvenate my spirit before I have to face another problem. Problems all day long. I do just that, correct problems all day. Just call me a trouble shooter. If I can't solve the problem then I'll find someone who can. My record is 100% accurate. I have a good reputation for getting the job done. It takes a lot of work to live up to that reputation.
Oh no, the time. I'm running out of time. I still have reports that have to be reviewed, at least twenty phone calls to return before the end of the day, not to mention a pile of mail. Who knows what else is waiting for me when I get back to my office? The remaining few hours left in my ten hour work day have to be carefully orchestrated in order for all the major tasks left on my agenda to be accomplished. I know if I remain focused the job will get done, providing a major catastrophe does not occur between now and quitting time.
At last, the time has come for me to save my work, turn off the computer and hit the lights--my day has ended. It's time to go home. Home sweet home. I only pray for an easy transition back to my humble abode without incident to end my day. Ring, ring, oh no not the phone, not another problem. Should I answer it? Is it one of my children needing a ride, or telling they have made it safely home after their busy day or is it a customer who wants to yell another complaint into my ear? Hesitantly, I pick up the phone. To my surprise it's a calm, serene voice on the other end. A happy content customer calling to thank me for the assistance I had given her last week and to tell how much she had appreciated my efforts. What a nice surprise. It's very seldom that someone picks up the phone to say thank you; however they always seem to make time to voice a complaint.
What a nice way to end the day. As I get in my car a sense of peace begins to engulf me. I guess the relief of my work day ending had something to do with it. I begin my journey home with visions of incomplete tasks and what the day will hold for me tomorrow. As my head began to swim I realized that I'm back in traffic and I must try to remain focused. Finally, the cars begin to flow. If this keeps up I'll be home in no time.
In an instant, it is like time stood still. The entire sky seems to just open up like a bouquet of flowers before me. Nothing but miles of sky everywhere. Oh, how beautiful to see such a magnificent painting! An artist could not have done such a better job at mixing such vibrant colors. The colors, how can I explain the richness of the colors? A gold so shimmering you almost need sunglasses to look at it. The blending of passionate pinks, rich purples, deep oranges all on a blue canvas. But the most beautiful thing about this scene is that in a blink of an eye the painting changes. Another is that it belongs to me and only me, because you see no two people will view this sight in the same manner. It is mine to enjoy alone or with someone.
Sunsets...natures most beautiful gift to man. If only we as human beings could only take the time to notice such beauty. Yes, this is the way to end the day, this is what life is worth living for. I guess you can say that I've answered my own question. I have made a difference. The phone call earlier this evening confirmed that I have touched people in a special way. I know I'll be remembered by more than just a few...
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word Nigger as a derogatory term typically used to refer to a person of color. As I looked at it in the dictionary, and heard it used in my company among friends it really never bothered me. That was until I was called a Nigger by a customer at work. That night shaped the way that I looked at myself.
The store was busy as usual for a Friday night, I had been paged to the customer service desk twice. As I ran to the front of the store everything was running smoothly. I asked, "Why was I called up here?" I was trying to help a customer. I was told not to worry about it by the customer service manager and I went back to work. The next day I overheard the two associates who worked the night before talking about the incident. The white associate said "I'm not going to tell him. I do not want to upset him," while the black associate said, "Girl! I'm going to tell him right now." I asked, "Ladies what are we discussing that has to do with me?" The white associate said, "Tell him miss big mouth."
What I heard next changed how I viewed the small piece of success that I thought I had attained thus far in my short life. The black associate said, "The reason we called you to customer service desk last night was to resolve a customer complaint." When I said "O.K.," she began again, "But, the customer said he did not want a Nigger helping him so he left."
When I heard this it shocked me. Here I was 25 years old, making $32,000 a year. Someone that I did not see, nor had seen me just made a judgment call of my racial makeup because of my name. I cried that day, the next day, and the next day. We know somewhere deep in the back of our minds that we may be called Nigger next to water coolers, in bathrooms, but never so up close and personal. I questioned myself. Had I not spoken correct English well enough? Had I not read enough books on issues that really did not interest me? Had I not worked hard enough from a part-time sales position to assistant store manager? Had I not done what White America says I should, by working my way through school, and not ending up in some jail cell? This bothered me for sometime, I could not get the scene out of my head. Was he a redneck, maybe some construction worker type, or had he been a white collar professional? I thought about this for days. I talked to a few people and they just could not understand what I was going through. I was told to forget about the incident because it did not matter, but it just would not go away. I had finally come to a decision.
Everything in my life up to that point was based on what White society said was right. I grew up in Southern California, lived in White neighborhoods, went to parochial schools, and had very few Black friends. I had never been called a Nigger in my life, at least not by a White person in my presence. I was so concerned with only learning the top layer of my culture. Martin Luther King's Birthday, Black History Month, and any other person or thing that we briefly covered in school. Just enough to stay in conversations pertaining to black issues. I never learned more, nor did I care to, because it just was not important to me. As I examined myself, I knew what I saw was not anything worth substance.
I decided to stop worrying about attaining status without substance. White America had been good to my family and I so it would be very hypocritical of my to say I hated White people. Because that was not the case. But I had to find a way to embrace what White America had taught me up to that point, while learning about my culture and embracing the gifts that an African American upbringing had given me.
I could not base my life on monetary values, big homes, and fancy cars. I began to learn about my heritage by reading books that pertained to issues that faced my people in good and bad issues. I became a big brother for a young African American boy named Philip. I read the Autobiography of Malcolm X once, and found myself reading it four more times. I just knew that my life was not going to be worth any value if I did not start learning about my people. I made a pledge to myself to learn something about African American people on a daily basis, any interesting fact and tidbits even motivational quotes by famous African Americans. Just something to get back what I had robbed myself of for 24 years.
This is the same pledge that I must work to keep active for the next 10 years, and beyond. If I am not doing anything to teach myself of the accomplishments of my people no one will. I must take this task very seriously because one day I will have to teach my kids to embrace their heritage, while also learning about the White America they will face everyday.
This did not happen long ago, so sometimes I wonder what I would do if it happened again. I do not know, but I do know that I'm not a Nigger. And I will let no one force their ignorance upon me again. In work, school, or life.
Many people think that if you spare the rod you will spoil the child, but in some cases that isn't so. Children are little people a!nd need to be treated the same as older people would want to be treated. I do not think that children should be disciplined by physical punishment. My reasons for my way of thinking are that children need know, then think, and lastly correct what they are doing wrong.
My first reason is that children need to know in depth what they have done wrong. My brother has eight children and has a short temper. When one of the children does something wrong the first thing he does is whip her. I have told him over and over again that whipping is not always the answer; moreover, he needs to tell her what she has done wrong and why it is wrong. If a child receives a bad report card, I feel that the parent should sit that child down and find out why and what is causing her to do bad in class. After listening to what the child has to say, the parent should explain to the child that school is a place for learning and that she has to be punished for not learning the lessons ta!ught at school. The punishment from this point should be time-out.
After the child become acknowledgeable of reason why she is being punished, the child then needs to think about her punishment. Many children know that they are being punished for a reason but never really think about why they are being punished or what is supposed to change. When a child is in time-out, she has time to think about what, how, where she has gone wrong. For an example, a child steals a candy bar from the store. She will have to think about the consequences if she is caught by the police. After a child has thought about the reasons for punishment, she now can plan to correct the mistakes.
The final task will be to correct the past behavior. Children can in their own little ways make changes to avoid getting punished again. After a child knows and has thought about what they have done wrong like making bad grades in school, stealing from the stor!e, and being disobedient, she tends to make more intelligent decision about her life and the way in which she would like it to go. She doesn't like to spent her time in her room thinking about what she really already knows which is right and wrong; therefore, she will do right the first time.
In conclusion, parents do not want their boss hitting them when they have done something wrong; therefore, I think children should not be disciplined by physical punishment. Children should be informed, have time to think what they have done wrong, and change their wrong doing.
Crime is a big factor in America today. In order to reduce crime, people need to learn how to love each other. A few steps on how to reduce crime are discipline in the home, school, and church. Since most crimes are committed by teenagers, it would make a great difference if the community were involved.
The first step in reducing crime is discipline in the home. Parents need to be stricter on their kids. They should talk to children about peer pressure, and develop a relationship with the child. Parents should get more involved in their children's' activities and projects in school. They should also encourage their child to make good grades and strive for a 3.0 g.p.a or better. Most children who commit crimes are uneducated children and have parents who are unconcerned about their well-being. For example, my cousin dropped out of school at the age of sixteen. She was a bright student and a very good basketball star. Her problem was she didn't have her mother's support. She had the family's support, but they're nothing like your mother cheering you on.
Another prime factor in order to reduce crime is discipline in school. We need more teachers who are concerned about the children and their education. There are some teachers who don't care about childrens' education. They are just teaching to get a pay check twice a month. We have some teachers who have been teaching for twenty and thirty years and they are burned out. We need more teachers who have more patience with children who have learning disabilities and behavior problems. For example, my nephew is a problem child. He is always clowning in class. We have beat him and punished him, but nothing seems to work. The teachers in school are always calling our house for simple problems that they should be able to handle. I feel like the board of education should bring back whipping in the schools. When I was growing out I remember my Fifth grade teacher whipped me with a big thick ruler.
The last step in reducing crime is discipline in the church. People need to start back raising their children in the church. Parents should get the children involved in church activities such as Bible Study and Sunday school. Today's children are growing without a heart of compassion and with no respect. While in the church, the child will learn about respect and integrity and moral values. Some children now days don't have any moral value because they destroy public property and disrespect their elder. For example, my mother raise me in a church home and I know how to respect my elders and the people around me. A child who is raised in a godly home seems to be a little more respectful because it all comes from having fear of God. Some teenagers see elderly people on the train standing up and will not give them their seats. They will also use profanity while talking to their friends.
In conclusion, I feel like crime will reduce when we begin to show discipline in the home, school, and church. We need to raise up a nation under God's authority in order to have a better place. In order to reduce crime, it's going to take the community and federal government.
They have always been around and probably always will be. They have changed in attitude, appearance, and size. They have been supportive and doubtful of me. They have shared happiness and sadness with me. I did not choose them nor did they choose me. Sometimes I actually wished they would just disappear but they never did. They are still around, most of them. They are both my most valuable asset and my most costly liability.
We were and are the Brady Bunch meets Married with Children. There are nine of us plus our parents. Our Mr. Brady was known in our small New York town as "Stan the Man Sukram." His real name as Stanford and his first donation to the family was two boys, André and Andy, from his first marriage. Mrs. Brady's contribution to this holy union was two boys of her own. Shirley Jane Brown , a.k.a. Big Shirl, became Mrs. Stanford Sukram August 10th 1972. The six of then were the original members of the Sukram Clan that now has over twenty members in our New York Chapter alone. Anthony was their first child together, I was the next and the best (this is my version of the truth). Cindy and Sherrie came four and six years later. Well, it does not take a genius to figure that makes eight kids. Ginger, my baby sister, surfaced shortly after my father lost his battle with the seven year itch. Since Ginger spent her first twelve years with her own mother, she missed out the roller coaster upbringing that we had.
My father was the man that put the "A" in alcoholic and abusive and my mother was the gullible sap that worshipped the ground he walked on. Mr. Sukram was a hard working man with a fourth grade education. He owned his own construction company that had him working 18 hour days. Every Friday my dad would go and collect a check from whatever company or union was paying him for his work. This check was meant to pay the worker and him. Somehow Mr. Hicks ,who was the owner of a pub two towns over, seemed to be the only one to get paid on Fridays. My mom had her own way of dealing with my father's plan to destroy the family. Jehovah. The Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses is where she sought help, every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. The two of them were quite a pair and the poster couple for "Sticking Together....no matter what." My parents were finally split in 1993 when my mother died of cancer. Till death do us part, right? Afterwards dear old dad abandoned his family for the comfort of the woman who scratch he seven year itch and the warmth of his country of origin, Trinidad.
Mi Familia has provided me with an enormous wealth of joy and self-worth. They have all managed a small spot of their own in my mind, from the five brothers that used to turn me upside down and dip my braids in the toilet when my parents were out to the one brother that convinced me to return to school. They have defined me in ways they alone would understand and that is one reason they are so important to me. They understand me and where I come from because they are the only ones that come from there too. They are my safe haven and my security blanket in this world, even though they are not as accessible as before, which is probably for the best.
It amazes my the amount of shit a person can endure from their family yet still feel so connected to them. They always have a way of bringing me down regardless of the fact that they are 1,000 miles away. I always somehow felt responsible for whatever garbage my younger sisters got involved in and this stress and pressure really does a number on me. When I call or visit it's always the same. If someone is not dating a drop-out they're dropping out, if they're not dating an addict they're becoming one, if my brothers aren't getting someone pregnant, my sisters are getting pregnant. My brother Larry and I are the only two without kids, two of the four to graduate high school and the only two to continue their education. His support has been my foundation for the past four or five years. He helps me to see that my family is important during those times when I wish they all would fall off the earth, and he shows faith in me just long enough for my faith in myself to kick in. Larry helped me to realize that as far as family is concerned you got to take the bad with the good. Being a doctor now, he thinks he knows everything but every once in a while he says something that makes sense to more that just himself.
The Rug-rat generation is the part of my family that gives me my greatest fulfillment. They are by far the most important people in my life. My nieces and nephews rule my world and I am not afraid to admit that I am probably just as gullible as my mother was as far as they are concerned. They are young and innocent (for the most part) and they just adore "Auntie." I want them to have a stable environment that will give them a solid foundation. Even though they are not my kids, I want to teach them the value of education and that it can be fun and fulfilling. Being able to be a role model for them is every important to me and I want them to feel like they can depend on their family for anything.
When I think about my family I can easily say that there is more bad than good but I would have to immediately add that the good far outweigh the bad. These people that GOD made me share space, food, love and dreams with are all in New York now. I try to get there as often a my life permits which lately is not that often. But when I get lonely and start to miss the Rock-heads I remember that they share a part of my heart too. When that does not work ...I remember that I have Sprint.
"My parents made me do it!" Have you ever heard this before? Your reply will more than likely be a resounding NO. However, given the present state of our country's youth, the previous should probably be a nationwide slogan. If there's one pure injustice in today's society it has to be the amount of blame we as Americans put on our youth for their early mistakes. Everyday there's another incident of youth violence on the news. Many of these, as I'm sure you're aware of, are very serious incidents that sometimes include murder. Cases such as these often result in children as young as thirteen being tried, convicted, and sentenced as adults. This is totally ridiculous! You lock away a child (and I do stress the word "child") for the rest of his or her life while the parent, who in my opinion is just as guilty, is given no punishment at all. Parents are responsible and should be held accountable for their children's actions.
Before working yourself into an early stroke, allow me to continue. Let us focus on the word child. At what point in his or her life does a person make the transformation from a child to a young adult? Is it simply the age of eighteen? Surely you don't really believe there's one universal numerical age which serves as a point of maturity? Some characteristics of maturity are self-reliance and total independence. Now you tell me if this can be accomplished at thirteen!
Almost everyone in our society will agree that it needs a lot of work. Unfortunately, the people you and I voted for are going about this the wrong way. You can't blame a bum for dirtying up an alley. Although he certainly doesn't liven up the place, it is understood that the alley had a look of untidiness before he arrived. Therefore we can safely assume that malevolent conditions will create malevolent minds which in return will commit malevolent actions. This is nothing more than a circle of destruction. One condition will always perpetuate the next.
Where does it all end? What is the solution? The answer is as close as your nearest mirror. Each parent must focus exclusively on his or her own child. They must be willing to "go that extra mile" to ensure that their children will evolve into upstanding citizens. I for one have been trying to do this from day one of my parenthood. I also would be the first to admit that this is no easy task! I became a father at the age of eighteen; that age where I thought I had the answer to everything. There was nothing anyone could tell me to change my mind about the simplicity of parenthood. I thought I had it all figured out. However, I later found that I'd never been further from the truth.
As I matured, I realized that along with the love and care we all talk about giving our children there are other things that should be passed along to them as well. One major item is a sense of respect. I felt my best chance of establishing this respect was through discipline. I've been very strict with my son in this early stage of his life. Some people may even say too strict. Some of my friends seem to think I'm putting fear into his mind with my manner of scolding him. That is exactly what I'm trying to do! I was told by a wise woman (my mother) that the fear a child has towards his or her parents turns into a form of respect later. After evaluating this information I realized she was referring to myself. It was totally true! The spankings and scoldings I'd received as a child combined with the love I had for my mother had formed a kind of respect that will surely last the rest of my life. I've always known what I could and couldn't do and wouldn't dare overstep either boundary. If I did, my dear mother would certainly have been there to get me back on track whether I liked it or not! I feel that by taking similar actions with my child, I will more than likely have similar results.
Now that I'm a parent, I realize why my mother was so strict with her discipline. She knew then, as I do now, that a child's behavior is a direct reflection of his or her parent. Every time I hear of another incident of a child's run-in with the law it immediately gains my total attention. I hardly ever hear anything about the parent of the accused, only the victim's. This is because the parent of the accused is rarely anywhere to be found. This absence is occurring much too often! I won't get into the so called reasons for these absences because I feel there is no excuse for neglecting your children, especially in today's society where anything can go wrong in the blink of an eye and usually does! I have vowed not to let my son slip through the cracks of today's society. I know he won't fail me because I won't let him. People will say I was overbearing. People may even say I was a little insane. However, they will never be able to say I was neglectful of my duties as a father.
Today, after four grueling years of raising my son I can safely say that I'm willing to take responsibility for whatever he does up until he can realistically be considered an adult. Yes this is a short period of time. On the other hand, I'm sure I've made a solid foundation to build upon. I've gotten a pretty good start and have no intention of slowing down. In the past, it could have been said that I was merely a "boy with a boy." Today, things are different. Although I still look like a boy (many will agree) I no longer think nor do I raise my child that way. I realize now that children will do no more than their parents allow. However, I hold this to be true only in cases where the parent(s) have been applying the necessary discipline from the start such as in my case. I feel as if my son already knows what is expected of him as far as behavior is concerned. He certainly knows what he can and cannot get away with! And if my theory later proves to be incorrect, I'll grin and bear it.
There is a saying that goes, "I'm not who I think I am, I'm not who you think I am, I'm who I think you think I am." In other words, we are in public the person we think others are expecting us to be and not our real selves. Take me for example. To the public I come off as a sure footed, know how to get the job done, not afraid of anybody kind of person. I am good at what I do. This includes my job, church responsibilities, family and what I do for personal growth and development. However the person I am when I'm home and out of the public eye is very different.
To the public I am out going, always sure of my self. I'm the person that can take any challenge , meet it head on and win. At home I hate to make decisions and if challenges come I fold into myself and let someone else handle them. At work when they want a project done right they call me. When we have home projects to do I get sent off somewhere to shop so I won't be in the way.
In my private life I enjoy the peace and quiet. Funny ,but I work with a loud bunch of people and can hold my own in any conversation. I often have to confront people I work with and unruly customers on the phone. And I am always up for a challenge. However at home I shy ,no, run away from confrontation. I prefer to be alone in the company of a good book. I carry a air of ladyship and pride wherever I go. You will always see me with my head up and a smile on my face. But I can be very moody and tend to cry a lot for no reason. And it's not PMS. At work I never let them see me get upset and never let them see me sweat. I hate loud noise and love soft music. I can even put up with a little country western if I have to. I love taking hot bubble baths and getting into that sexy woman kind of way. My husband really likes that side of me the most.
To tell you the truth I really don't like to be around a lot of people. When I do feel like being bothered with people, I prefer to be laughing and having a good time. I even have the reputation of being a sort of "Dare Devil." Hey, I'll try just about anything once, like the time we went to Mexico and I climbed a waterfall. I even held an Iguana when I am afraid of a common garden lizard. That sounds funny coming from a coward like me. When the mood hits me I love to entertain and most of the time really let my hair down. But most of the time I really prefer to be alone.
So, that's the difference between my public image and my private image. I don't know which one I enjoy the most. But should you ever get the chance to experience both you will truly see that I am really two different people.
Each year, many teenagers run away from home. This is an alarmingly increasing and serious problem that is affecting many families today. The reasons for these run a-ways are many; the main causes are few. They are frustration, lack of attention and misunderstanding, and can have very serious consequences, especially in the life of a teenager.
Frustration usually occurs when teens are left alone to face and attempt to solve the enormous and extremely difficult problems of growing up without the support that is required to do so successfully. The absence of an adult (their parent) that the teenager can regard as a figure of authority and turn to for is guidance. A survey released by the Federal Bureau of Investigation states that unattended children between the times of 2:30p.m - 5:45p.m, commit most juvenile crimes. The times most parents are at work, these crimes are said to be committed out of boredom and frustration. The teen is placed in an unfamiliar situation that he or she has not encountered. In their attempt to solve these problems, frustration occurs. This in turn causes more frustration in the teen that he or she is not ready or able to handle. Although the teen might appear fully-grown physically, he or she is not psychologically. The law considers an 18-year-old an adult; however, psychologically, the teen is not ready for the responsibilities that come with adulthood.
During adolescence the teen wants and at times needs the attention of the parent. This could be for any reason; usually this is done to reinforce their confidence or just to feel the joy of being wanted. This is a basic need among most, if not all, teenagers. The need for some form of approval by the parent a reason for this might be in the fact that even in early childhood the child tries to emulate its parents and also the child seeks and usually gets the attention it needs from either or both parents. When this need for attention is no longer or can't be easily attained, the teen feels neglected. In this state, the teen might give some thought to the idea of running away, in search of a place where he or she will get the attention and feel the sense of being wanted. This is often the case in many families.
Misunderstanding occurs when the parents are too busy to be part of the teen's life. They expect the teen to be able to handle some responsibilities, but these are the types of responsibilities that they have not taken the time to instill. At times things like, "Didn't you know, didn't you hear me?" Or "I really think there is something wrong with you," to mention a few, of the words said preceding a misunderstanding. How can a parent expect the teen to do or know a thing they have not taught him or her. The teen feels that there is nothing he or she can do, that would be considered right. At this time the teen usually rebels against it's parents, and the parents try to enforce some amount of discipline. Often this doesn't work; the time for this has passed long ago. At this point in time, the teen assumes the parents no longer want him or her around, which can most likely cause the teenager to run away from home.
Teenagers are at the threshold of adulthood, and this is the time that they need the most attention and understanding. The presence or absence of these things can affect a teen's life the most. The parents should provide this, but this is not possible in this time and age; the parents are not usually around to do so due to work and the ever-increasing need for economic security for the family. As long as parents don't create time for their teens, teens will continue to run away from home.
Once again we face the dawning of a new holiday season. For many of us this means what sometimes seems to be endless shopping sprees, gathering with family and friends for that oh so festive holiday feast, decorating our homes just right, and preparing a mindset for a time of sharing, giving and receiving the gifts of the holiday season.
Though most of us take the chore of holiday shopping seriously enough, it is easy to get caught up in just the commercial aspect of gift giving. We desperately search for that special something for Aunt Agnes and cousin Debbie, while frantically looking for the right size for little Kenny's Nike shirt. While for many weeks we've been satisfied with the gift we got for mother, we suddenly have a change of heart and look for something a little more personable. Having three sisters to shop for has always been an interesting challenge. For their gifts must all show how you care for them all equally yet at the same time they must all possess some certain individuality about them. While shopping for my many loved ones I try to keep in mind the relationship I have with each of them and let that guide my thought for gift ideas. This usually works pretty well. Its also saves a lot of time as well. For example, I'm not at all close to my brother- in- law Ken, so I usually find something quite ordinary or simple for him. But for my younger brother, to whom I feel somewhat close, I would want to take special time and consideration to get that special gift. No ordinary socks will do in this case. Maybe he'll drop hints about what he needs or wants and hopefully one of us will oblige him.
Yes Christmastime is a special time indeed. There is much anticipation leading up to that big day. Aside from the shopping of holiday gifts, there is the enduring task of planning and preparing the second most filling feast of the year giving way only to Thanksgiving of course. For those who'll have the job of preparing the holiday meals careful menu planning must first come into play. They must take into considerations all the usual food items expected complete with all the trimmings. Everyone expects the turkey, ham, dressings and holiday cakes and pies. After the menu is planned, the gathering of the food is nest and is off to the market we go. The stores are filled with bold meal planners determined to complete their food list before most items are sold out. So there they are shopping diligently from the cranberry sauce to the eggnog. There is no disappointing the family nor depriving them of one of the most traditional suppers of all time. Now that the menu is planned and the food is gathered, the time has come for the preparing. All day long the home is filled with sweet aromas of the well sought out meal at hand. The smell of which brings every nose aroused into the kitchen anxiously awaiting the time to devour the festive creations. Why, even now it brings to mind when all is seated hand in hand at the dinner table about to partake in the meal before us.
Although holiday gift shopping, planning and preparing the holiday meal are very special parts of the holiday, there is yet another very special aspect of this holiday season. It is the spiritual part of the holiday season. It is the very reason we have to celebrate! It is the ultimate gift from God. For without this there would be no gift giving and no feasting on meals. It is the day we set aside to acknowledge the birth of Jesus Christ, the ultimate gift to us all from God. In this gift we find many things by which we are enriched. We are blessed with peace, love, salvation and the chance for everlasting life. To accept these things is the essence of the true meaning of Christmas and everything else is secondary. If we keep first and foremost in our minds the love God intended for us, the peace and joy given to us in our hearts we are surely to be filled with the spirit of Christ and holiness that is meant for us all. I feel that if we meditate on these things we will undoubtedly radiate these feelings to others in our sharing and caring, and, yes, even giving throughout the Christmas season.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the commercial aspects of the holiday. The gift giving and receiving, and the feasting of meals all seem to be innocent ways in which we celebrate this season but they are all meaningless unless we communicate to one another the real meaning of Christmas, the gift of knowing Christ.
I guess most of us may feel all of these things go hand in hand in celebrating Christmas, and for some of us we could not have one without including the others. It is always my hope that as we frantically shop for loved ones we will keep in mind the most important gift to look for. And though we could feast all day on many a holiday meal, we could not yet be truly content until we eat of the fruits of the spirit plentiful enough to last the whole year through.
If my doctor told me that I only had a few months to live, I would activate my faith and beliefs in God. Activating my faith, I believe, would allow me to deal with the news from a more positive perspective. There are many reasons why I would activate my faith. There are three very important reasons that support my decision. First, faith in God will cushion the mental blow of the doctor's report that's often endured by terminally ill patients. Second, studies have often shown that terminally ill patients often die before time simply because they lose their will to live. Finally, the thought of facing the news alone would be abandoned due to my expectation of a divine healing.
Faith in God would definitely cushion the mental blow that I would experience if I would try to face the devastating news alone. I personally think a mental crutch would be needed to balance any kind of life threatening news. Faith would offer the necessary mental support that I would need to endure what could cause a mental breakdown. The thoughts of facing this crisis alone would never enter my mind due to my faith in God and high expectation of a divine healing. Each and every day that I wake up I would expect a miracle. I would activate my faith every morning until I received the good news that I had been healed.
The neglect of the will to live often causes terminally ill patients to die prematurely. Once that will is broken you will die because you've told your body and mind mentally and physically to shut down. Once this order is delivered to all the channels of your body that govern life, the death process will then speed up.
Last year I personally was faced with this dreadful news. After experiencing eleven hours of pain and tension in my left arm and upper back I decided to call the 911 out of precaution. After I explained the symptoms that I was having to the operator she advised me to unlock my front door and return to the phone. After I unlocked the front door of my apartment I collapsed at the base of it. I awakened to the sound of the concern tone in the emergency room doctor's voice. The doctor told me that because I waited so long before calling 911 I had caused significant damage to my heart and she could not guarantee my next thirty minutes of life. As I continued to experience the later described "life threatening heart attack," I stopped all the standard procedures that were being executed by the nursing staff. I ordered every one to leave my room . I began to pray and cry asking God to spare my life and strengthen my weakened heart. I felt that my prayer would be answered so I closed my eyes and drifted into a very peaceful rest. The next morning I was awakened by the sounds of my mother's tears. I told my mother not to worry, God had repaired my heart.
My doctor predicted that I wouldn't make it. She said she had done all that she knew to do. I had a back-up plan, I activated my faith in God and today I am alive and well.
If I were asked to teach a subject of my choice, I would teach dance and it would be taught to young adults. There are many reasons why I would choose dancing but there are three that stand out. One of my reasons is that dancing is something I used to do and enjoyed doing. It is something that I know about, so I would do a good job teaching it. Another reason for wanting to teach dance is thatit would help the young adults get away from school or just life. The last reason is that it is good for a young adult to be invovled in an activity even if its not dancing. It helps them express other talents than they can in the classroom.
Since when I was a little girl until high school, I used to dance. I enjoyed dancing but it also was a learning process. There was a case where you had to try out before you could be on a dance squad. During tryouts girls told me that I could not dance and I was not going to make it. I overlooked them and kept practicing. After two years of continuing dancing, I made captain. Dancing can be fun but you can also learn from the bad view of things. I think that young adults would have fun and enjoy learning the different ways of dancing.
Another reason I would teach dancing is that young adults are at a stage in life where they have pressure on them. Dancing or any other activity would help them get away from all that tension. I think dancing is a good way to release their problems. I know that when I was in high school, dancing helped me relieve the stress from class. I would think that it would do the same the thing for the young adults.
Some young adults do not do as well as others in the classroom but this can mean that their talent is somewhere else. Dancing or any activity can help young adults establsih that talent. I have a cousin that didn't do well in class. While in school, he used to play football. Later on, we discovered that his talent was not in the classroom but playing football. Now he coaches a football team. This situation is one in many example of reasons why young adults need to dance or be in an activity.
In conclusion, dancing along with many other activities can help a young adult along the way in life. Dancing is a good activity to get into even though it may not be to everybody. Education always comes first but the classroom is not always the answer for talent.
Today's work force has changed dramatically. Job descriptions for positions in the clerical field are more administrative. In the nineties, employers are not just looking for a secretary, someone that can type, answer telephones, and greet clients. Employers are looking for an employee to place in a secretarial position but also run the entire office. If you are not a flexible person with an attitude that works for the organization, you will be left out. Today, however, your attitude can be the determining factor as far as whether or not you keep your job.
When I started out working in the clerical field during the seventies and eighties, I received a job description and the tasks listed were basically the tasks I performed. I arrived at work, did my job, and went home on time. Today, organizations are hiring more consultants and professionals who are self-employed and work from their homes on a part-time basis in order to cut down on benefits and expenses. The employer is looking for a person that can become a member of the organization's team and in order for the team to run smoothly, you will be expected to fill in where needed. Your job description will be adjusted to suit the organization's needs. It seems you have to sometimes forget about what is in your job description because in order to succeed in the work force, you have to be creative and have a winning attitude. Employers are looking for an employee to perform various jobs although sometimes things can go to the extreme.
For example, I've worked for the Housing Authority of Fulton County for the last four years. This organization has been down-sizing and creating new positions since I was hired. Down-sizing, to me is just one of the tricks of the trade. Whenever an employer wants to turn over and/or renew the staff, just call it "down-sizing" and before you know it, you become an ex-employee of the organization. I've worked with too many employees fired because of refusal to perform a task not listed in their job descriptions; sooner or later, you no longer see them. Believe me, employers can come up with a reason they no longer need you and I've also seen replacements walk in the door at starting time the following day. Employers can be very shrewd and non-caring.
My position changed from Receptionist to Contract Modernization Clerk, and is currently Administrative Assistant. The job titles changed but all of these positions have been combined as one. These changes were made in order to meet the needs of the organization. I've found that I have to be ready for all requests because I've seen times when the Executive Director gave an order to prepare for a meeting and I went out to get food and fruit. I set-up for the meeting by preparing food, washing the fruit, and whatever else it took to get the job done. All of a sudden, I turned into "Hazel". I've been in situations with this organization where it was mandatory that all employees go to one of our site offices and our job for that day was to help build a playground.
I've come to the point where my philosophy is "8:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., whatever." My best bet is to keep striving to better myself which is my reason for making the decision to attend college. I want to have more ammunition because the competition in the work force is awesome and there is no job security. There will come a time when I will be the employee ousted.
In conclusion, the work force today is very competitive. Employers expect an employee to be creative and flexible while performing various duties. Your job title could be the Director of a department but you may be required to type your own correspondence, voice mail will receive your messages, and you'll be expected to return your own calls. Your attitude will be the determining factor in whether or not you will keep your job.
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